*This blog was written and published during my time working at Boston Post Adoption Resources. It was published on February 25, 2020
A Note: It’s happening! Maya, our BPAR clinician, is taking the trip back to India, her birth country. She will be filming much of her trip and is excited to share her journey through India when she comes home. Until then, Maya invites you on her journey through previous blogs and this new one, Wishes to the Moon. Today’s blog and its accompanying song, both written to the birth mother she has never met, were inspired by all of the feelings Maya has had as she packs her bag.
Wishes To The Moon
It feels like this part of me is blind, like no matter how hard I try to mold myself into an image of you, I end up at the moon. Because if you’re the face of the moon that I see, then I’ve seen you smile; and I’ve seen you sleep. Because if you’re the face of the moon that I see, I know I can find you. I know I can look up and talk to you. I know you’re right there when I dream.
I like to think the moon is our connector, the beautiful ray that projects on our paths as day turns to night. And if I had to guess, the moon is more than just a moon to you, too. It’s the name you gave me – Chandani.
Twenty-eight years ago, I was two weeks old.
Twenty-one years ago, I was scared.
And today I will walk off a plane breathing the air you breathe.
Today I will look around, wondering if she is you.
And tomorrow the wonder will still be there, as will the moon.
Every wish I’ve had for you, I’ve sent through the moon. Every wonder I’ve had about you, I’ve asked the moon, and until we meet again, I’ll keep using the moon as my mailman for you.
This song is what came from those feelings that escaped my numbness, those feelings that had something to say about my journey back to India. As I go, so does the record button on my video camera. I am excited to share the journey with you all!
Written By Maya Rogers-Bursen while at Boston Post Adoption Resources
Chandani Post Adoption Counseling
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