My Story
My story started in India, on February 12, 1992. It was the day I was born, and the day my birth mother placed me for adoption.
The story I grew up with went something like this: My birth mother wasn’t married so she had to leave her village, give birth to me, and place me for adoption all in secret. The only other person who knew of her pregnancy was her mother, my birth grandmother. I had to be a secret to those in her village because if anyone found out she would have been kicked out, or worse, killed.
I am a transracial, international adoptee. I grew up in Connecticut with my mom, dad and older sister who was also adopted from India, four years before me. Growing up I didn’t think about my adoption in the ways I do now. Coming out of the “fog”, I started to realize I felt more and more like an Oreo – looking Brown on the outside and feeling more White on the inside. I only really started to notice the difference when I went to college, when the average person expected one version of me, being surprised by the real version of me.
My “Chapter One” (the time between birth and being adopted) is limited. There are so many missing pieces I’ve filled with fantasy stories. The pieces I do have barely complete a puzzle's border.
My birth mother’s name is Mona, her mother’s name is Dorothiya and they came from Patna, the capital of Bihar. My birth mother named me Chandani, which means moonlight in Hindi. Dorothiya traveled with a nun all the way from Patna to Delhi (a 17-hour train ride if that was the mode of transportation) to bring me to the orphanage. I spent six months in the orphanage until my parents and sister came to bring me home.
In February of 2020 I took a trip back to India for the first time since I was seven. Although it wasn’t a birth family reunion trip, I did discover a few new pieces. Those I'll save to share with you in my upcoming documentary film. Stay tuned for it! In the meantime, I invite you to explore my blog where I delve deep into the ups and downs of my journey.
For now, I am still my birth mother’s secret, searching for the missing pieces.
It is an honor and a privilege to work with so many adoptees and families as they navigate the complexities of adoption.